Stevie Ray's August Business Journal Column "Your Oath of Office"

Published: Mon, 08/12/13

EDITION No. 1
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Improvising Business
by
Stevie Ray

We All Take an Oath of Office

August, 2013
If it was good enough for Lincoln, Truman, and Roosevelt, it should be good enough for all of us; the oath of office. And while our day-to-day duties may not be as weighty as to preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States, there is a duty that everyone accepts when moving up the ladder of their organization. Everyone who holds a leadership position is charged with preserving, protecting, and defending the actions of their company. The problem is, too many people secretly add their own addendum, unless I don't happen to agree with the policy. In such cases, preserving and defending is replaced with backstabbing and dodging.

If I had a dollar for every time I heard a manager qualify an announcement to his team with "I don't like this any more than you folks," I could stop buying my suits at garage sales. Too often, managers give themselves the luxury of cherry-picking which policies and initiatives they will support and which they will simply pass along to the troops with a wink and "I don't know what they're thinking upstairs either, gang."

Good managers not only inspire their team members to do great work, but they guide them around obstacles. Good managers make it clear that their job is not to promise that the employee is going to like everything the company does or that the employee will agree with every decision. Their job is to make sure the company's position is clear and to help the employee do his or her best work within those parameters. It is tough enough to work with rules or policies that aren't of your choosing, it is nearly impossible to do it if your leader undermines those decisions as well.

It is perfectly acceptable to say to a team "I know this might make things difficult for some of you, and if you need help to navigate it please let me know." Team members need to know that they have a reliable resource. Adding "I know that not all of you will be in favor of this decision, but you should know that I stand behind it," lets them know that you have strength of conviction. A leader with conviction is not stubborn or unfeeling, simply realistic. This kind of leader demonstrates to everyone that he or she is not about to waste valuable time or energy whining about unpopular decisions.

The reason poor managers resort to "it's not my fault" tactics is our basal human need for acceptance by our social group. Managers must walk a thin line between being a member of the gang and leading the gang. Having a group of people disagree with you en masse triggers the brain to react. The brain's foremost goal is to re-establish connection with the group. Out pour statements like "If I could change this, I would," "I know, I'm not entirely in agreement with this either," or "If I had my way..." These statements may seem to endear you to the group, and they actually do temporarily divert attention to some other nameless, faceless villain. However, in the long run these methods of dodging responsibility damage your reputation. You are ultimately viewed as someone who, if willing to speak poorly of your own superiors, would be willing to do so of others. Basically, if you are willing to bad-mouth your own bosses, how can I trust you when it comes to having my back?

This is not to suggest that vice presidents, directors, managers, supervisors, and team leads must think that every decision their boss makes is a good one; far from it. A manager with integrity owes it to his or her superiors to debate decisions passionately. Having the courage to stand behind an unpopular decision should be coupled with the ability to fight against a decision with equal courage. If you believe a decision will have damaging effects, either on the company or on your team, you owe it to everyone to fight it. Once a decision is made, however, everyone who leaves the room represents the organization, not just themselves. This is, of course, assuming that the decisions from upstairs are ethical and legal.

Frankly, whether you state so verbally or not, every time you accept a position of leadership you make a promise. You promise to be the voice of those making the decisions at the top. Every time you dodge responsibility by telling your team you don't agree with a policy, you are being a liar. You have lied to those who promoted you. You have lied to your team by claiming to be their leader and not acting as such. You are also being a coward. Instead of facing your superiors directly with "I can't stand behind this decision," you say it behind their backs. Instead of saying to your team, "I stand behind this decision" you downplay your responsibility.

I was driving with my nine-year old stepdaughter Ondine when she said, "My best friend can't keep her hamster anymore and asked if we could adopt it." My face froze in horror. I sincerely believe that if every picture of a cure little furry hamster was accompanied with a scratch-and-sniff of their stinky cage, not one hamster would be sold in America. And, remembering how many times as a child I promised to take full responsibility for a dog, cat, fish, hamster, emu, or Bengal tiger; and remembering how many times I actually kept my promise, the chances of my little angel getting a hamster were as good as Congress balancing the national budget.

Luckily, my wife and I already had a discussion over a year ago about pets. Her rule of "Nothing in a cage!" was clear and concise. In responding to my little girl's request, I could have scored huge Step-Dad Points and said, "Oh sweetie, if only your mother said yes. But she put her foot down on pets." Believe me, I was tempted, but in a household of Two Girls Against One Boy, my wife would have eventually discovered my cowardice. And our couch folds out.

So, without hesitation I said, "Sorry sweetie. Your mommy and I both have a rule. We already have a dog as a pet, so no more pets." Nine-year olds being what they are (and a girl, no less), Ondine said, "But we had Maia. That was two pets." I didn't want to go into the difference between a hamster and a fish, especially since the fish died a while back and I didn't want to speak ill of the dead. Maia's tombstone still adorns our garden. I said, "You are right, and we can certainly get another fish someday. What I should have said was, 'No more pets that need a cage; or brushing, walking, or grooming." Her response was the kind of "Awww" that only a child can vocalize. After a pause she said, "I don't like that rule."

I could have dodged and said, "Well, I don't like it any more than you do, sweetie. You know how your mother can be." Instead I said, "Yeah. We're not going to like every rule in life are we?" I left it at that. Anything less than total support of my wife and I don't get a nice night's sleep. Anything less than total support from my staff leaders and I'll find a way to make them sleep on the couch. This is what Patrick Lencioni writes about in his bestselling book The Five Dysfunctions of a Team. When you are a leader you are part of many groups. You have the group of leaders you serve with as well as the group of team members you lead. The higher up the ladder you go, the more teams you join. At the highest point of your personal ladder is your exclusive team. Lencioni calls this your Primary Team. These are your leader-colleagues. Your first responsibility is to this team. In turn, the people whom you lead are part of your Secondary Team. You owe them a great responsibility too, but your first responsibility is to your Primary Team. A good leader makes it clear that he or she will never disrespect the Primary Team members. This helps the members of the secondary or tertiary teams to know that they will also be respected.

Keep your responsibilities clear and you will avoid trouble. If this is too difficult, there is always an easy way out, don't accept a promotion. The one luxury always reserved for front-line employees is to complain about policies. It is a great luxury, but it goes away with that first step up the ladder. I think that anyone who is promoted should be required to take an oath of office. I do solemnly swear to preserve the company, protect my team members, and defend my superiors. Even if you don't have to say this oath out loud, when you accept a position of responsibility the oath comes with it.


Stevie Ray is a nationally recognized corporate speaker and trainer, helping companies improve communication skills, customer service, leadership, and team management.  He can be reached at www.stevierays.org or stevie@stevierays.org.

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